Category: Holy Land

Hope in the Suffering

“God has given us the grace we need to get through it.”

Grandpa Sall

In my daily prayers, I’ve always asked the Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. I feel as my heart has been shattered.

My mind can’t fully comprehend that every morning when I wake up, I’m here. I’m in the Holy Land. Specifically Bethlehem, the city where Jesus was born. This past week has been nothing but challenging. From the overwhelming new culture shock, the sights, the smells, the tastes, and the sounds. It has completely wrecked me. I forgot what it feels like to leave everything that’s familiar and to fully surrender. I forgot what it means to resist the temptation of wanting to take the path that’s the least resistant. I forgot what it means to empty myself to God, knowing that I’m just a fragile clay.

It’s hard being in deeper water..

It’s hard to wonder how I ever made it through South Africa. But, if there’s one thing I’ve been holding onto all week, it’s hope. Hope that God has always been with me from the beginning of January 2021 when I made the decision to follow Him. To do things that make me uncomfortable, vulnerable, and even embarrassing at times. To endure sufferings so that I experience more of Him and so that I may not boast. It’s hard to delight in what I’m going through right now because the tears hurt so much. But this morning in my devotions with God, I was reminded that these temporary troubles will not last. The things that are seen will die but the things that are unseen will last. I cannot see hope but I believe in the hope of Jesus Christ. The hope in knowing that this is not the life I want to be apart of. But the life I’m longing and waiting for one day is eternal in heaven.

Prayer Requests:

⁃ Adjusting to the new culture.

⁃ Create great relationships with my host family.

⁃ Allowing God to use my brokenness for His glory.

Caili

So it Begins Again..

“Give me a heart for every heart that’s breaking, and give me eyes to see we’re so much more than flesh and blood.”

We are Messengers

I look back on this past week and how many God moments I’ve experienced. So many answered prayers that I’ve prayed for so long. And yet, the sinful nature of my humanity is I still let the presence of fear be real this week. A couple of days ago on my plane ride back home, I looked out my window and watched the sunset. It was one of the most beautiful plane ride sunsets I’ve ever seen. I was reminded how much God’s love for me is so much closer to me than I can fully ever imagine.

This morning at church my pastor preached such a profound message about how often Jesus is a destabilizing figure in our lives.

He is always calling us into deeper waters.

Jesus told Peter to leave his net and Peter left everything to follow Jesus. Some of us are called to leave our nets and some of us are called to stay in the lake where Jesus has already placed us.

A big thing I learned in South Africa was that my faith wasn’t there to necessarily lead me out of my hardships or keep me safe from the adversity I experienced. But rather, my faith kept leading me towards the pain.. and my faith kept leading me into deeper waters.

My hope and prayer after the Holy Land or when I’m older, I’ll have the eyes to look back and say, “I see it.” Just the way I’ve already seen it looking back at my time in South Africa.

Tomorrow I leave and I ask for the prayer of peace. His peace that surpasses all understanding. The peace that gives me the courage to go into deep waters.

And for my readers, my family and friends, I leave with you this challenge:

I wonder what lake you are in?

I wonder if you’re stuck in the shallows?

And I wonder, are you willing to step further into deeper waters?

Caili

Life Update

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

Corrie ten Boom

A week ago I hugged one of my former team members. She and I ended up becoming more closer after our trip to South Africa. She wrapped her arms around me tightly. I felt a silence surround me and my heart started to hurt. I could hear the sound of her tears coming and a moment later I could feel the water in my eyes start to stream down my face..

You would think after a trip the people you became closest to and spent the most time with, would be the ones you stay connected with, but I learned in life that doesn’t always happen. Don’t underestimate the impact someone can have in your life in such a short time.

A couple weeks ago my trip got pushed back due to Covid, but last week I still went to the training. And let me tell you, it was way harder than I thought it was going to be (as you probably already could tell). Seeing the smiles of familiar faces, getting again to embrace the warmth of their hugs and the bittersweet emotions of having to say goodbye to them again was hard. But my heart is joyful, knowing these beautiful people are going out into the world to love others and to follow God’s plan for their life.

Yesterday I was happy to receive an email of the itinerary for the Holy Land. I’m stoked to say I’m leaving Monday, February 7th.

These past couple weeks I’ve experienced God’s funny humor as well as His surprises. Being home has not only given me a lot of time to do what I love, running; but also to do a lot of college searching. I’ll be going to Utah to visit a college and it’s the week before I leave.. I know! Let me tell you, if you know me, you know this is not something that I do at the last minute. But somehow God opened the doors that I needed for this to happen. I don’t know where God wants me next after the Holy Land but my prayer is that He would make it clear to me if college/specifically this school is where He wants me or if He wants me to continue to pursue the mission field.

I continue to ask that you would pray for me. Pray that God would open my heart to whatever He has for me in the Holy Land and for the next part of my life. And as always, thank you to everyone’s continual prayers and support and for joining me as I start this next adventure.

Caili

Reflecting & Looking Ahead

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”

Anne Lamott
3M South Africa

One evening in South Africa, I was sitting outside looking up at the night sky. The air was cool, the wind was silent, and my heart was feeling heavy. The sky was radiating the Milky Way and the numerous stars seemed to illuminate the sky a little brighter that evening. I looked up and I said, “God You are good.”

Then I said a prayer and I asked God to lay a team member on my heart. A person who needed someone to reach out to them. A person who needed their story to be heard. And as God laid that person on my heart, I said, “Okay God but I need your help to do it.”

After my prayer ended, I was called in for dinner. When my team and I were finished eating, Ma gave us a new accountability partner. Each week we would be paired up with a team member and it was our responsibility to check up on them throughout the week. As Ma was listing the names off, I was waiting to hear my name and the person I was paired with. It almost wasn’t until the very end, I heard my name and the name of the person God had placed on my heart before dinner, and we were paired. In that moment I took a deep breath and exhaled as I was in awe of how quickly God answered.

After that, the weeks passed and then the weeks turned into months. It gets easy to forget the littles moments like this I’ve had with God. It breaks my heart because these are the evidence of God’s work in my life and I never want to forget what He’s done. This past few weeks I’ve had some bumps along the way, where my faith sometimes feels like it has gone downhill. I’ve learned through reflecting and processing, what does it mean to remain faithful to Him, during the times I’m not experiencing awe moments?

A few weeks ago I had to make a big decision. A decision where I didn’t know what step to take. I thought my next direction was the Caribbean but instead I’ve been lead to the Holy Land —Israel.

I learned through switching, that fully committing to surrendering to God, sometimes means plans will change. Living with host families in Bethlehem, doing agricultural projects, living in refugee camps, taking Arabic lessons are some of the things I will be up to. I will be working alongside Jews, Muslims, and other Christians. There are many things politically, economically, religiously and ethnically that make these groups different from each other. But I want to have a heart that is open. Open to listening, open to allowing others the chance to see what I see: that the Kingdom of God grows when we better understand one another. As I’m growing up, if there’s one thing I keep relearning, it’s that, no matter how divided we are, we were meant to live in harmony.

One of the last dinners I had in Africa, my host Pa said, “Taste and see His goodness.” My hope is to continue to experience and see little moments of God’s goodness while I’m in Israel.

It’s good to take a step back and reflect but it’s good to also look ahead, in order to start taking steps forward.

Prayer Requests:

– For Israel and the rest of the trips to be able to happen in January.

– God would give me eyes to see and ears to listen.

Caili