Category: Friendships

Space for Change

“Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.”

Henri J.M. Nouwen

These past several weeks I’ve gotten to know more about what it’s like to see from different perspectives. A coworker of mine and I have talked a couple of times about religion and what we believe. He doesn’t agree with everything I believe in, nor do I believe everything he believes in. But what is so much more important than any disparities we might have, is that we both share a common respect for each other. 

I believe the world we live in today is full of people who are trying to change each other. People of different religions, political stances, or equality views and the list goes on. What breaks my heart is, it only takes some people one opinion to make them change how they treat the other person they contradict with. Sometimes I think people fear more about their opinion being maybe “wrong” than caring more about the other person.

We can’t change people, rather God is the one who does the changing. My coworker and I may not ever come to agree on what we both believe in. But that doesn’t disqualify me from treating him any differently than I would with someone who has the same views as me. Every time I go to work all I can do is show my love and kindness to him. There’s nothing more I can do. I believe when we offer the space for change to take place, we are allowing God to intercede and allowing His work to take place. 

If we aren’t setting each other’s differences aside, how can we extend the space needed for change to happen? 

Caili

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” ― John 4:12

The Heart of Listening

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.”

William Hazlitt

I believe God brings people into our lives all in His timing. Today was one of those times. 

I reconnected with a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a while. We shared some good food, laughter, and some tears, but most importantly we both left with a heart knowing we were understood by each other. 

I often forget I look at a person from a distance and I think I really “know” who they are. But in reality, there is so much more to a person than what we see with our eyes. It’s when you have those conversations that involves having the strength to be vulnerable, a heart to be genuine, and being attentive to every word the person is saying. It’s when you are willing to fully immerse yourself in listening, you begin to know the person.  

Today, I could hear my friend hurting and the pain in her heart. I cannot fully understand everything she has gone through because her story is different from mine. But I want to see the brokenness my friend is carrying, is the beauty of knowing it’s all part of her journey. 

In 5 months I am going to meet people with so many different stories that are going to be beautiful and different from mine. People who will be carrying their struggles with them and I want to be the kind of person that listens. My hope is to see more and more that at the end of each day we are more alike than different. We all want to be understood and heard, but first, we must ask ourselves, am I willing to listen? 

Caili