“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
Anne Lamott
One evening in South Africa, I was sitting outside looking up at the night sky. The air was cool, the wind was silent, and my heart was feeling heavy. The sky was radiating the Milky Way and the numerous stars seemed to illuminate the sky a little brighter that evening. I looked up and I said, “God You are good.”
Then I said a prayer and I asked God to lay a team member on my heart. A person who needed someone to reach out to them. A person who needed their story to be heard. And as God laid that person on my heart, I said, “Okay God but I need your help to do it.”
After my prayer ended, I was called in for dinner. When my team and I were finished eating, Ma gave us a new accountability partner. Each week we would be paired up with a team member and it was our responsibility to check up on them throughout the week. As Ma was listing the names off, I was waiting to hear my name and the person I was paired with. It almost wasn’t until the very end, I heard my name and the name of the person God had placed on my heart before dinner, and we were paired. In that moment I took a deep breath and exhaled as I was in awe of how quickly God answered.
After that, the weeks passed and then the weeks turned into months. It gets easy to forget the littles moments like this I’ve had with God. It breaks my heart because these are the evidence of God’s work in my life and I never want to forget what He’s done. This past few weeks I’ve had some bumps along the way, where my faith sometimes feels like it has gone downhill. I’ve learned through reflecting and processing, what does it mean to remain faithful to Him, during the times I’m not experiencing awe moments?
A few weeks ago I had to make a big decision. A decision where I didn’t know what step to take. I thought my next direction was the Caribbean but instead I’ve been lead to the Holy Land —Israel.
I learned through switching, that fully committing to surrendering to God, sometimes means plans will change. Living with host families in Bethlehem, doing agricultural projects, living in refugee camps, taking Arabic lessons are some of the things I will be up to. I will be working alongside Jews, Muslims, and other Christians. There are many things politically, economically, religiously and ethnically that make these groups different from each other. But I want to have a heart that is open. Open to listening, open to allowing others the chance to see what I see: that the Kingdom of God grows when we better understand one another. As I’m growing up, if there’s one thing I keep relearning, it’s that, no matter how divided we are, we were meant to live in harmony.
One of the last dinners I had in Africa, my host Pa said, “Taste and see His goodness.” My hope is to continue to experience and see little moments of God’s goodness while I’m in Israel.
It’s good to take a step back and reflect but it’s good to also look ahead, in order to start taking steps forward.
Prayer Requests:
– For Israel and the rest of the trips to be able to happen in January.
– God would give me eyes to see and ears to listen.
Caili
Withhold Nothing 